This Just Sucks!

[RiverFisher]

I haven't been on the board for a while because I have been dealing with a flaming bag of pooh! A couple of you may know that my wife has been fighting breast cancer for nearly five years now. We have had a lot of ups and a lot of downs. Well today we found the bottom of the well. She has had a recurring problem of fluid accumulating in the space between her lungs and the body wall. Several weeks ago, we drained off nearly a liter of fluid from around her left lung and she could breathe much easier. Today she was having a hard time getting a breath and figured it was time again. Well, the space is now occupied with solid tumor masses. It can't be drained, nor operated on (been there done that), and the latest round of chemotherapy has been ineffective. This is on top of tumor masses all along her spine, in her liver, and in her brain. We are arranging for hospice care at home and seriously doubt that she will live to see her birthday next month.

Tonight, we had to tell our two school-age children that she is going to die. I swear I saw that precious sparkle in my daughter's eye flame out when I told her. My son has suspected this was coming, but things are different when the hope is replaced with certainty.


I figured the complaint department was the appropriate place to post this thread. I want to thank you guys. This board and the BF have been a great source of stress relief for me. Hopefully, when I get up off the ground, I can still make monkey jokes and tease Wayne about liberalism.

Hug your loved ones!

RF

[jkroner659]

Sorry to hear that, there is no pain like losing a loved one. All I can offer is this video that Sinatra posted on the professors last lecture, it is the full lecture and will maybe help a little.

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=3633956

I lost my dad and grandmother and both were painful but losing a significant other is probably a little different to a degree...but still the pain is similar. Humans really have to figure out cancer and how to beat it(I don't believe it can't be done). If we can go to the moon and go to mars(manned missions are planned in the near future) we can beat cancer with a few pills IMO in the future. And if companies don't want to look for the cure since there is no major financial benefit...I won't even go there I will get too pissed just thinking about how more funding can go to the cure.

But back to the topic at hand, sorry to hear the bad news, I am not a Christian(or religious at all for that matter) however I can say this incident should not wreck your faith, people die it happens, don't let that impact your beliefs, stay strong.

[Dash Riprock]

Jeez RF. That is really tough to deal with and I honestly hate to hear that.

I'm not really good with words when it comes to these things, but I do wish the best for you, your wife and your kids. Hang in there and keep it together as best you can.

[Headhunter 13]

Dear Rob,

I am so sorry to hear of your wife's condition. If there is anything I can do or if you want someone to talk to let me know, I will PM you my Cell number. While I do not share you belief and faith I truely hope that it brings you and yours comfort through these trials and times of sadness.

[CBnL]

Sorry to hear the news RF.
Hang in there!
My Dad died of lung cancer when I was 9. I know I was confused & pissed about the whole deal. Even having lived through such a situation, I honestly can't say I have anything to offer that will help your kids understand and/or deal with the situation. (and to this day I don't think anyone could have said anything that would have made me feel any different)

[Toecutter1201]

sorry to hear about the wife, donot treat it as a death sentence, treat it as a "what can we do together as a family!" lost my mother in 1985 to cancer and can honestly say "tune out the rest of the world and enjoy life!"

[KPierce]

I wish I could adequately say what I am feeling Bro. I wish I had some magic words, but there really isn't any. Just know that my thoughs are with you and you're family.

Take what time you need to make the most of the time that is left. We here on the forum will be here when you need us. And if you would like to talk I would be more than willing to drop you a line. And I am sure anyone else here feels the same because that is what friends are for.

[RiverFisher]

Thank you for the well wishes, advice, and offers to be an ear.
I am a little better today. Now that we have things set up at home, there is one less unknown to deal with.
We are taking some of the advice posted here to heart. Tomorrow my kids and I are going to a local amusement park for their Halloween season as I had promised.
We have known that this would be coming for quite a while now, but it amazes me how shocking it still is. In the past five years, we have spent a lot of time making memories while we had the opportunity. It is comforting to know that we have some time together and that we can make arrangements as a family as opposed to me being responsible for all of the decisions.

The house has been, and probably will be even more busy with visitors coming to say goodbye while she is still lucid and able to know for themselves that this is really happening.

JK-thanks for the video. It was a good one. I love how he said that he must have had a great childhood as he is smiling in all of the pictures. Maybe all of us should smile in every picture taken from now on.

You guys take care. I will be in and out depending upon how things go.
Thanks again,
RF

[RiverFisher]

Gentlemen,
My wife passed away on Thursday morning. Here is a link to the obitutary. I will most likely be away from the forum world for a little while. I will need to mourn and adjust life to a new normal. Thank you for your support and well wishes. Keep fighting the good fight.
RF

http://www.legacy.com/DeseretNews/Obituaries.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=96475169

[Headhunter 13]

Rob, I am so sorry. Please accept and pass on my warmest and most heart felt condolences. You have both my phone numbers if you want to reach out. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

[Sinatra877]

There are no words that can express my sorrow on this somber occasion. You have my prayers and condolences. God Speed to you and yours.

[jkroner659]

So sorry to hear that, hope you find that new "normal" as fast as possible...but it will take some time...

[Dash Riprock]

That is very sad news, RF... Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

[KPierce]

I am so sorry to hear about this Bro. My thoughts and prayers go out for you and your family.

[CBnL]

Sorry RF...
It's never easy.
Kids have a hard time with such things... at least I did when my father passed away when I was 9. Make sure and take the time to let them know how much they mean to you and how their Mom lives on in them and how she will always be therein spirit.