Dash Riprock
09-17-2007, 07:54 PM
A new teacher was trying to make use of
her psychology courses. She started her
class by saying,
"Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"
After a few
seconds, Little Davie stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think
you're
stupid, Little Davie?"
"No, ma'am, but
I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
**************
Little Davie watched, fascinated, as his mother
smoothed cold
cream on her face.
"Why do you do
that, mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his
mother, who then
began removing
the cream with a tissue.
"What's the
matter?" asked Little Davie. "Giving up?"
***************
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers
was concerned
that his students might be a little
confused about Jesus
Christ because of the Christmas season
emphasis on His
birth. He wanted to make sur e they
understood that the
birth of Jesus occurred a long time
ago, that He grew
up, etc. So he
asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raised
his hand and said, "He's in heaven."
Mary was called
on and answered, "He's in my heart."
Little Davie, waving his hand furiously, blurted
out,
"I know! I know!
He's in our bathroom!"
The teacher was completely at a loss
for a few very long
seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits
and asked Little
Davie how he
knew this.
Little Davie said, "Well... every morning, my
father gets
up, bangs on the bathroom door, and
yells, "Jesus Christ,
are you still in
there?!"
****************
The math teacher saw that little
Davie wasn't
paying
attention in class. She called on him
and said, "Davie!
What are 2 and 4
and 28 and 44?"
Little Davie quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and
the
Cartoon
Network!"
***************
Little Davie's kindergarten class was on a field
trip to
their local police station where they
saw pictures tacked
to a bulletin board of the 10 most
wanted criminals.
One of the youngsters pointed to a
picture and asked if it
really was the
photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The
detectives want very
badly to capture
him."
Little Davie asked, "Why didn't you keep him when
you
took his
picture?"
***************
Little Davie attended a horse auction with his
father.
He watched as his father moved from
horse to horse,
running his hands up and down the
horse's legs, rump
and chest. After a few minutes,
Davie asked,
"Dad,
why are you
doing that?"
His father replied, "Because when I'm
buying horses,
I have to make sure that they are
healthy and in good
shape before I
buy."
Davie, looking
worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy
wants to buy Mom."
her psychology courses. She started her
class by saying,
"Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"
After a few
seconds, Little Davie stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think
you're
stupid, Little Davie?"
"No, ma'am, but
I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
**************
Little Davie watched, fascinated, as his mother
smoothed cold
cream on her face.
"Why do you do
that, mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his
mother, who then
began removing
the cream with a tissue.
"What's the
matter?" asked Little Davie. "Giving up?"
***************
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers
was concerned
that his students might be a little
confused about Jesus
Christ because of the Christmas season
emphasis on His
birth. He wanted to make sur e they
understood that the
birth of Jesus occurred a long time
ago, that He grew
up, etc. So he
asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raised
his hand and said, "He's in heaven."
Mary was called
on and answered, "He's in my heart."
Little Davie, waving his hand furiously, blurted
out,
"I know! I know!
He's in our bathroom!"
The teacher was completely at a loss
for a few very long
seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits
and asked Little
Davie how he
knew this.
Little Davie said, "Well... every morning, my
father gets
up, bangs on the bathroom door, and
yells, "Jesus Christ,
are you still in
there?!"
****************
The math teacher saw that little
Davie wasn't
paying
attention in class. She called on him
and said, "Davie!
What are 2 and 4
and 28 and 44?"
Little Davie quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and
the
Cartoon
Network!"
***************
Little Davie's kindergarten class was on a field
trip to
their local police station where they
saw pictures tacked
to a bulletin board of the 10 most
wanted criminals.
One of the youngsters pointed to a
picture and asked if it
really was the
photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The
detectives want very
badly to capture
him."
Little Davie asked, "Why didn't you keep him when
you
took his
picture?"
***************
Little Davie attended a horse auction with his
father.
He watched as his father moved from
horse to horse,
running his hands up and down the
horse's legs, rump
and chest. After a few minutes,
Davie asked,
"Dad,
why are you
doing that?"
His father replied, "Because when I'm
buying horses,
I have to make sure that they are
healthy and in good
shape before I
buy."
Davie, looking
worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy
wants to buy Mom."