Sinatra877
09-12-2007, 05:34 PM
I'm pasting them from the other thread so everyone can have a good laugh. I'm open to any Army jokes you have for me Toecutter. Here are some of my favorite one liners.
How do you kill a Marine while drinking water?
Slam the toilet lid on his head.
What do you do if a Marine throws a grenade at you?
Pick it up, save it and then shoot him with your .45
How come Marines have holes in their forehead?
They try to train them to eat with a fork in Basic Training.
What's Olive Drab and Red, has 1,000 legs and the collective intelligence of a very small soap dish?
A pass and review of Basic Trainee graduates at either Camp Pendleton or Lejune.
How do you keep a Marine happy in his old age?
Tell him a joke when he's young.
Howcome Marines are "First to Fight"?
Because you can use them as a sandbag when you hit the beach.
Why do Marines have a history of jumping on grenades in action?
They want to prove too the Army that they're good enough too.
Howcome Sailors are called Squids and Marines just Grunts?
Because Squids are a higher forms of Marine Life.
Howcome there are no more Marine paratroops?
They wanted to prove to the Army they were tougher by not using their parachutes.
Howcome the Marines went to fight on Iwo Jima?
Anything past seven letters are extremely difficult for them spell. "Guadalcanal" fucked them up. They went there specifically just to ask the Japanese defenders how to enunciate it.
Howcome the Marines are the smallest armed service?
Most passed the IQ test and joined the other services.
OR...
Because no matter what a Marine will tell you...they hate this but still are and will remain just a Department of the Navy. Since Nov. 10th 1775 at Tun Tavern. The USMC is primarily for security operations for the Department of the Navy and for the protection of Naval Officers appointed upon a US ship of War mutinied against by it's crew.
These were just the one liners....TAG TOECUTTER. YOU'RE IT!
How do you kill a Marine while drinking water?
Slam the toilet lid on his head.
What do you do if a Marine throws a grenade at you?
Pick it up, save it and then shoot him with your .45
How come Marines have holes in their forehead?
They try to train them to eat with a fork in Basic Training.
What's Olive Drab and Red, has 1,000 legs and the collective intelligence of a very small soap dish?
A pass and review of Basic Trainee graduates at either Camp Pendleton or Lejune.
How do you keep a Marine happy in his old age?
Tell him a joke when he's young.
Howcome Marines are "First to Fight"?
Because you can use them as a sandbag when you hit the beach.
Why do Marines have a history of jumping on grenades in action?
They want to prove too the Army that they're good enough too.
Howcome Sailors are called Squids and Marines just Grunts?
Because Squids are a higher forms of Marine Life.
Howcome there are no more Marine paratroops?
They wanted to prove to the Army they were tougher by not using their parachutes.
Howcome the Marines went to fight on Iwo Jima?
Anything past seven letters are extremely difficult for them spell. "Guadalcanal" fucked them up. They went there specifically just to ask the Japanese defenders how to enunciate it.
Howcome the Marines are the smallest armed service?
Most passed the IQ test and joined the other services.
OR...
Because no matter what a Marine will tell you...they hate this but still are and will remain just a Department of the Navy. Since Nov. 10th 1775 at Tun Tavern. The USMC is primarily for security operations for the Department of the Navy and for the protection of Naval Officers appointed upon a US ship of War mutinied against by it's crew.
These were just the one liners....TAG TOECUTTER. YOU'RE IT!